Human Development and Family Science 00Ohio State University Extension
http://hec.osu.edu/famlife
Volume 3, Issue 2
Copyright 漏 2004, Ohio State University Extension
ACTIVITY
Newlywed Bliss Versus the
Money Monster
Cora French-Robinson, M.Ed.,
FCS Extension Agent
Every couple marrying today assumes that after
they toss the bouquet and return the tuxedos, that
they are headed for marital bliss. Studies
have shown that over half of newly married
couples report having serious marital
problems before the end of the first year.
The wedding-bell blues are common after
the excitement of an elaborate wedding cel-
ebration.
So what causes this discord? Usually poor communication,
gender issues, lack of spiritual health,
and financial stress. A couple's ability to communicate
on how to handle financial matters in their marriage is
one of the key elements that helps determine the
stability and happiness of a new marriage.
Money has power. How we spend, save, and make
choices for our money is connected to our personal
value systems. Each person comes into the marriage
with a different set of values and expectations. They
may not have expressed their true feelings about
finances before that elaborate and very expensive
wedding.
According to the authors of You Paid How Much for
That? How to Win at Money without Losing at Love ,
newlywed couples will argue over how the money
should be spent or saved, and who spends too much.
Some couples will keep secrets about their money
habits until after the glow of their big wedding has
past, and they are left with the reality of all the wedding
bills and costs of setting up a home.
How can couples make the transition from single to
couple without fighting over money and still get their
individual needs met? Communication! First, realize
that each person may value money differently, so try
to find common values and work from there to structure
your "couples" approach to managing money.
Second, write down your individual goals and expectations
to form your "couples" goals for financial management.
Remember to include two or three short-
term goals and long-term goals to be achieved within
the next five years. This is your working plan toward
financial security for the future. Do not forget to make
a list of rules for handling big purchases, daily purchases,
and cost of repairs.
Next, decide on which financial roles each person
wants to be responsible for. Such as, who will pay
the monthly bills, who will organize the financial
records, and who will handle the daily
running of the household. Who will buy the
groceries and who will handle repairs?
Also, decide if you will keep separate
checking accounts or set up a joint account
for household expenses. You may also want to start
a joint savings account.
Communication is one of the main keys to a strong
and happy marriage. As couples share their different
insights, hopes, and dreams for the future of their
finances, a stronger intimate bond will help them
create that marital bliss for a very long time.
Our Money Values
Make time for each of you to answer these questions
individually. Then sit down together and discuss
your answers. Use good communication skills and
allow your partner to share, while you listen. Ask
clarifying questions using "I" statements, e.g., "I heard
you say that money was very important to your sense
of security, is that accurate?"
1. Were there a lot of material things in your childhood
home?
2. How did your family spend money?
3. Did you get money for chores or an allowance?
4. Did you have to earn your own spending money?
5. Do I handle my money the same or different from
my parents/family?
For more activities like this, visit
http://ohioline. osu.edu/mym
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